you wouldn't believe it. im awesome!;

IM VAL AND PPL SAY IM MAD. ~~WHAT DO U THINK?~~
ARHH! SHUTUP AND JUST EAT THE LOLLIPOP!

there's no link, but baybeh you're awesome! ((;
Tuesday, October 17, 2006

sometimes i just feel so left out. everywhere. always. im like meant to stand out never supposed to blend in.
and why am i so emotional. why am i always crying? over such a lil stuff. even when im wrong and i hurt others i cry. when im not allowed to go out and i real want to, i feel like crying. when i lose a game, i get frustrated and i always want to win.sometimes i end up crying when the winner keeps saying tht their the winner. but thts exactly what i do when i win. im such a hypocrite. a follower.. whatever ppl feel like doing thn i would follow. i hate it. i can never be alone. not independent. can never ever do anything right. making all useless comments,trying to help.. but always end up hurting others. which would lead me to cry sometimes. why am i so flimpsy. so insecure. whats up will jealousy? i get so jealous easily.. even when a friend gets closer to another of her friends, or like if some one has is talking to me and another person.. he has more fun with the other person. i dont know what im jealous of? their friendship? the attention? i dont know. i just dont fit anywhere. not in class. they say we're a family and all.. but.. i always cease to feel extra. in ycs especially. church.. eventually. nothing good ever last long in my life. everytime i get close to a friend.. he just slips away. i really want to fit in and all.. like in ycs..i think its because i dont try.. to make friends. and im really shy.. but im actually not.. just tht i always think too much.. i can fit in well.. i usually cant take the first step to talk to others. and just seeing them frm cat high frm st nicks and all so close.. its really a sight to envy.. even if i would have a day with them.. i'll be so thankful, i just hope jesus can make my life alil easier? i really hope to have more courage more independence more strength to persist and carry on in life. jesus pls help me not to be afraid.. help me to have courage.. to have more control in life. please draw me closer to you. please allow me to make the better choices in life. thank you jesus for all the friend and opportunities i have.. pls help me to use these chances you give me to my advantage to make my life a better one allowing me to cultivate a better relationship with you lord.

look at the time!05:50 its orange!